Preparing for my Second Pregnancy

It seems wild to start thinking about it already, but it is time to start preparing for my second pregnancy.

Before we were pregnant with our first daughter and talking about starting our family, we both agreed we hoped to have a few children. Ben wanted six. HA. I said we could plan for three or four MAX. I don’t want to be pregnant after 35, which would mean we would need to space babies about two years apart.

The thing you might not think about when deciding to space babies two years apart, is that it takes 9 months to make a baby. Meaning that just a few months after your first’s first birthday, it’s time to start preparing to get pregnant again. By that time you may or may not even feel like a fully functioning human again. The idea of starting the whole process from over from the beginning can be daunting.

Preparing for my Second Pregnancy

Still, here I am and maybe here you are, making plans for baby number two. Here are the ways I am preparing for that second pregnancy.

Physically

Stop taking birth control 2-3 months out.

Today will be the first day I don’t take a birth control pill in over a year. It was a sobering feeling watching the pills disappear one by one, making an upcoming pregnancy that much closer.

The reason to stop taking your pill ahead of time is so your cycle can regulate.

Mine is still a little wonky, ranging anywhere from 24-35 days over the last four months.

Remember, as soon as you stop taking birth control you can become pregnant. Unless you are ready to conceive right now, be sure to have an alternative form of birth control planned for the next few months.

I did read (thought I can’t remember where!) that sometimes the chances of twins increase the first cycle after stopping birth control, so either beware or take advantage!

Prenatal Vitamins

I am still nursing my daughter and plan to let her do baby led weaning. So, I am still taking prenatal vitamins and vitamin D every day. I am taking a generic gummy brand, but plan to switch to a more natural option once this bottle runs out. In addition to likely being pregnant every other year, I’m going to be on prenatals for the next five years minimum. I should look into buying stock

Talk with your midwife or doctor about what prenatals and vitamins you should be taking. The food based ones I am looking into are Baby & Me 2, or Garden of Life. If you’ve tried either of these I’d love to hear your experiences in the comments below!

Weight

I am still battling to lose the last of my pregnancy weight (seven pounds left to go!) and still have about ten pounds I’d like to lose of what I call the “Freshman 15” that I gained during my first year of marriage.

Getting down to a healthy weight has a lot of benefits including reducing the risk of miscarriage, gestational diabetes, ease of delivery, and more. Check out the Mayo Clinic for more info.

Plus it also makes it easier to shed the pounds after pregnancy.

If you plan a moderate weight loss of one pound per week, you could reasonably drop 12 pounds in three months.

Exercise Routine

When we were planning our first pregnancy, I knew that it takes on average anywhere from 3 months to a year to get pregnant. With that in mind I decided three months was plenty of time to get back in the habit of running regularly. I had my training schedule all planned out, and was excited to be one of those amazing women you see out there jogging with their big bellies.

Well that didn’t happen because we got pregnant right out of the gate. Which is amazing, don’t get me wrong, but my dreams of a cute maternity running out fit fizzled away.

Once pregnant, it is not advised to start any type of physical routine you haven’t already been doing.

So! If you want to run, bike, swim, kayak, whatever it is, now is the perfect time to start. Bonus, it can only help with any weight loss goals you have.

Eating Well

For the same reason you start taking prenatals a few months prior to pregnancy, you want to make sure you are eating well. This will create the most ideal place for your baby to settle in and start developing with all the nutrients it needs already in place.

This one is kind of a no-brainer but not always easy. Whole grains, leafy greens, limit processed sugar etc.

This also includes reducing your caffeine intake and alcohol consumption.

Start Tracking your Cycle

You can do this just by writing things down or you can use an App. I like the Ovia app. It is free and straight forward. The first day of your cycle starts the first day of your period. If you have a 28 day cycle, you would be fertile right around day 14.

Mentally, Emotionally, and Spiritually Preparing for your Second Pregnancy

Pregnancy is an amazing feat that requires not just our physical bodies, but our mental, emotional, and spiritual selves as well. Here are a few things to consider in the months leading up to conception.

How are you feeling?

Are you exhausted? Overwhelmed? Stressed? Dealing with any kind of mental distress that is more than an every-now-and-then sort of situation? Talk with your midwife, doctor, spiritual leader, or therapist. Pregnancy hormones and the exhaustion that comes with it can add to that burden. There is strong evidence that a mother’s emotional and mental state can actually change the DNA of a growing fetus.

Social Circle and Supports

Do you have a support circle of other moms? With my daughter, while I had a ton of family support, I didn’t ever really establish a group of other “mom friends”. Largely I think this is due to a global pandemic that has kept us shut away from other people since Jane was five months old. My biggest support person when it comes to another mom friend is Charlotte, who live in England. Despite the distance, technology is a miracle that allows us to keep in close touch. Other mom groups on Facebook have also been a godsend in sharing information, asking for advice, and offering support to other moms. Now is a good time to start looking at groups for support.

Rest

This one I know is somewhat impossible, but try to find at least pockets of time to get a little rest. A nice bath, head to bed early, squeeze in a nap, add in some restful yoga or mediation. This can go along way to building up our mental and emotional stores.

Go for a Walk

Get outside and get some fresh air and nature. It has been proven time and time gain that nature can help with reducing anxiety, depression, and other ailments.

Enjoy your First

If we’ve learned anything from our first child, it is that time races by faster each day. “The days are long but the years are short,” is one of the most resonant pieces of parenting wisdom I ever received. The second quote I think about often is that “love doesn’t divide, it multiplies”. Keeping those things in mind, I want to be sure I cherish the next year where we are only a family of three, knowing that things will be much different, although completely wonderful, when we become a family of four.

Planning for a Second Pregnancy

On top of preparing just YOU for pregnancy, there are other aspects of your life you can work on now to make things easier down the road.

Childcare

This one could be a biggie depending on where you live. In our county there is a childcare shortage of nearly 300 spots.

Now might be time to reach out to your current provider or a new one, to reserve a spot for your baby.

Or if you have family members or others take care of your children, be sure to have a conversation with them about the upcoming change in responsibility.

If both you and your partner work full-time, it might be a time to consider one parent moving to part-time, working from home, or switching to stay at home parenting. With our first, I went from full-time down to working one day a week from home. While that hadn’t been our original plan, we did know that by baby number two, I would transition to being at home. Financially, the cost of having two children in day care, plus the cost of my morning commute, would eat up all but about $200 a month of my income. We decided it made more sense for us to create our own income stream to make up that difference.

Finances

Now is a good time to take a look at your family’s finances, upcoming expenses, etc. and make sure everything is looking as sound as possible.

Partner

How are things with your partner? A lot changes in your life after your first baby, and sometimes it is a good idea to make sure things between you and your significant other are sound. Have some good conversations, make time for each other, work through any issues you might be having. There is absolutely nothing wrong with seeking outside help. Therapy is not just for couples on the brink of divorce, but can be a useful tool for proactive couples to better understand each other and work together. It’s good to think about not just “preparing for MY second pregnancy” but “preparing for OUR second pregnancy”.

Home

Are there any projects around your house that you have been putting off? Replacing carpet, remodeling, painting, putting in a fenced in backyard, whatever it may be. Now is a great time to tackle those projects before you are fighting off nausea while wrangling a toddler.

Birth Care Provider

Was your last birth where and how you wanted it? I know the how isn’t necessarily in our control, but if you are thinking about trying out a different birth care provider, now is a great time to start looking around at birth centers, interview midwives, or visit hospitals.

Preconception Visit

You can make an appointment with your clinic or midwife to do a preconception visit if you have any concerns prior to pregnancy that you want checked out. I used my daughter’s one year appointment as an opportunity to ask a few questions of my midwife about preparing for baby #2 and called it good.

Insurance

A quick call to your insurance provider isn’t a bad idea, just to make sure nothing has changed with your coverage.

Final Thoughts on Preparing for your Second Pregnancy

Pregnancy is something that we plan for as best we can, and hope for with all of our hearts. These days as I am preparing for my second pregnancy, find myself swaying back and forth between “oh my goodness I’m so excited we are close to this amazing journey again” and “what are we THINKING? I’m tired. I’m so tired. Don’t you remember you were sick for seventeen weeks?!?!”

Then I look at my daughter, at what an amazing, kind, mischievous little spirit she is, and I know in my heart that there is another little soul meant to be a part of our family, and everything will be alright.

Sending lots of love and fertile vibes your way mamas.

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